Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens
Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.
Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine
-
didn't work,
-
didn't do what the expensive advertisement said,
-
electrocuted the immediate neighbourhood,
-
and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it,
this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to beallowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser's own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing
briefcases and very thin watches.
Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: "Learn, guys." -- Crowley is a demon, in case you don't know�
God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank
cards, for infinites stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
Neil Gaiman -Death, The High Cost of Living.
July.
My name is Sexton Furnival, but I'm pretty much used to it by now, and this is the last thing I'm ever going to write.
This is because there's no point to anything, and I've thought about this hard and long. Okay. I figure I'm mature. I know my own mind. I'm sixteen -almost sixteen and a half. And what have I got to show for it?
For a start I don't have anybody I'm in love with.
To be honest, I think love is complete bullshit. I don't think anyone ever loves anyone. I think the best people ever get is horny; horny and scared so when they find someone who makes them horny, and they get too scared of the world outside, they stay together and they call it love.
Second, I don't have anyone I hate.
I mean, I know a hell of a lot of assholes. But that's all they are. Assholes.
There's no one I know who's evil. I mean, In books and movies you know immediately who the bad guy is because, well, he's bad.
And you've got the good guy and it doesn't matter what he goes through,
he knows who the bad guy is.
And I don't even have a faithful sidekick.
Well, you may not think this stuff is very interesting
or a reason to end it all, or anything but you're wrong.
Well maybe not wrong about it not being interesting,
but you're wrong about it not being a good reason for checking out early.
I mean there's no point to anything.
And if there's no point, you might as well be dead.
It's not as if anybody's going to give two shits.
So, what were you doing on the garbage
dump then?
Breathing.
Breathing?
Uh-huh. Breathing. You?
I was thinking.
Anything in particular?
Just that I don't want to live in the same world as the
World Wrestling Federation and the HomeShopping Network.
Cute. Down this way.
MMMM.
Sexton, is the chemical aftertaste the reason
why people eat hot dogs? or is it some kind of a bonus?
You looking for someone?
Yeah. The girl I came here with.
Oh. What's your name?
Sexton.
Neat name.
Not really.
Uh. Is your hair really that color
Sweet child. Nobody's hair is really this color.
Don't call me that.
Well, How old are you?
Sixteen. You?
A woman's age is her own affair. And what are you
going to be when you grow up, sweet child?
Dead.
Ah, live fast, love hard, leave a beautiful corpse.
Not really. More live dull, and think, why bother, and
leave a note saying goodbye.
Hm. Do you mean that?
Sure.
You really are a child. You know, ennui is insufficient
reason to commit suicide.
There's no door handle
Forget that and come over here. I think Theo's badly
hurt.
That's a problem? I think anybody who says "NOT" at the
end of a sentence deserves to be badly hurt.
What time is it?
Breakfast time on a most excellent summer's day. You
know what we need?
I have no idea what you think I need. You need subtitles.
Or some kind of instruction manual.
We need breakfast. In here.
Calvin & Hobbes!
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists
elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.�
Life's disappointments are harder to take when
you don't know any swear words.�
You know what we need, Hobbes? We need an attitude.�
Things are never quite as scary when you've got
a best friend.�
Another genius foiled by an incapable assistant.�
Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle
is real, and you're just a reflection of him?�
It is man's indomitable nature to scare himself
silly for no good reason!�
This is so cool I have to go to the bathroom.
U2
Religion is a club�
Change starts within our hearts
New Order
I've seen what a man can do. I've seen all the hate of a
woman too.
Sarah McLachlan
I believe this is heaven to no one else but me..
And I'll defend it long as I can be left here to linger in silence if I choose to wouldn't try to understand.. -Elsewhere
The Smiths
But don't forget the songs that made you cry
And the songs that saved your life
Yes you're older now
And you're a clever swine
But they were the only ones who ever stood by you -Rubber
Ring
Smitty Quotes
~Berlin 85'-"Ok, if anyone else is thinking of throwing something at me, could you please raise your hand now so I can jump down into the crowd and punch your fucking teeth in...this is Kyoto Song..."~
~"Ah, the lipstick. I don't put it on properly because people would think I was doing it for reasons of vanity whereas I do it for reasons of theatricality. I used to wear it when we did Pornography, I used to wear red lipstick all round my eyes and all round my mouth, so that when we were on stage, I'd sweat and it'd all run so it would look like someone had punched me in the mouth and my eyes were bleeding. I had to stop it though because my eyesight started to suffer. I kept the lipstick because it's so out of character for me to do something like that. "~
The Mission
Climbing up to heaven just to piss on the stars -Damaged
The Tale of Sleepy Hollow -Irwin Washington
..But it is meet I should, in the true spirit of romantic story, give some account of the looks and equipments of my hero and his steed. The animal he bestrode was a broken-down plow-horse, that had outlived almost everything but its viciousness...
Isaac Asimov's Laws of Robotics
A robot may not cause harm to humanity, or, through inaction,
allow humanity to come to harm.
-
A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction,
allow a human being to come to harm.
-
A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings
except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
-
A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection
does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
Random
Information wants to be $1.99�
If you're up against someone more intelligent
than you are, do something totally insane and let him think himself to
death. -Pyanfar Chanur�
A gOD may be ok with me. It's the fan club I despise.�
"Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself."-Friedrich Nietzsche
May you be blessed with the strength of heaven, The light of the sun and the radiance of the moon, The splendor of fire, The speed of lightning, The swiftness of wind, The depth of the sea, The stability of earth and the firmness of rock. -From the breastplate of Saint Patrick.
Let us be trascendental, for a change.
Life, the ultimate dying journey.
Like a bitter immortal, cursed to fall in love ever with whores.�
Sickening, like beasts reverting to men in a power struggle.�
Time does not so much fly as metamorphose into an even split of experience and memories.
In one fluid motion, it all ends today. 08/12/98.